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Churches are meant to be places of healing, community, and spiritual growth. However, for some, religious environments can trigger or amplify dysfunctional thinking and trauma-related behaviors. This post explores how trauma and cognitive distortions intersect in church settings, their impact on individuals, and how churches can foster healing. Understanding Dysfunctional Thinking Dysfunctional thinking refers to Read More

In many church communities, deeply ingrained belief systems can subtly shape behavior, expectations, and even theology. While some of these beliefs are rooted in Scripture, others may arise from tradition, culture, or human agendas, often going unnoticed or being misidentified as biblically grounded. When these beliefs are used to control or shame congregants, they can Read More

Ministry life is a crucible. As pastors’ wives, we know the burn of betrayal—maybe from a trusted confidant, a church member, or even someone we mentored. We know the grind of hardship—financial strain, family tension, or the quiet ache of isolation that no one else sees. I’ve walked that road for decades, now retired, and Read More

Betrayal stings. Hardship wears you down. Ministry life can be a grinder—years of pouring out, only to face disappointment from the very people you’ve served. I’ve lived it as a pastor’s wife, now retired, and divorced. I’ve learned some raw truths along the way. One stands out: Healing is a necessity, not a luxury, and Read More

Pulling up to the local Village Inn restaurant, my husband and I sat in the car a few moments before entering. He turned to me and said, “I don’t know why, but I feel like we’re being set up for failure.” He voiced something I was feeling but with a specific metaphor in mind. I Read More

Are you or someone you know, facing a challenging church situation, a difficult work environment, or a toxic relationship? Before leaving, consider examining this decision without the emotional energy that bypasses wisdom. Regardless of where you choose to go or what you decide to do, if you want to determine the right path for yourself, Read More

Assumptions are a natural part of human thinking. They help us navigate the complexities of life by allowing us to make quick judgments and decisions based on previous experiences and observations. However, while assumptions can sometimes streamline our decision-making processes, they can lead to misunderstandings and misguided actions. Understanding the nature of assumptions is essential Read More

Pay close attention to comments heard so often that they are no longer heard, questioned, or clarified.   These comments, beliefs, phrases, or, “Sacred Cows” can subtly lead someone astray. If not questioned, a Sacred Cow phrase can undermine peace of mind, health, joy, and faith without realizing it. Because the unquestioned statement sounds pious, Read More

It sounds holy … it sounds righteous … it is commonly heard, and rarely questioned. What is it? It’s a belief that has become a sacred cow. These beliefs effectively paralyze the faith of Believers by weighing them down with worry, fear of judgment, self-righteous indignation, indecisiveness, and stroking the ego as being “right”. This Read More