Laughter, joy, beautiful memories and words of love, wisdom and grace … but what if your experience is more of a season filled with complaining, bitterness, anger, frustration and hurt?
This post first appeared on 12/15/2015)
Painful events have a way of stacking on top of each other squashing out the ‘wonder-years’, and the warm fuzzy feelings along with them. Throughout the years, events and emotions are sprinkled in our lives that can bring a great deal of joy and wonder … as well as pain and sorrow. The holidays have an almost magical way of bringing every one of them to surface! The music … the smells of delicious food … blinking lights and festivities at every turn ignite feelings of warmth and love, or grief, sorrow and anger. No doubt about it – emotions are all over the place during the holiday seasons!
Does the thought of seeing relatives over the holidays set your teeth on edge or fill your heart full of dread? Unresolved issues, assumptions about others, and unresolved childhood memories and beliefs easily undermine many family gatherings. Have you asked yourself “Where are the magic moments of love filled with precious memories and loving words?” First of all … they aren’t magic … they are a choice to be given, and to be received.
Resist the toxic “white elephant” party that is played at too many households; where the pale pachyderm sits in the center of the room, watching … glaring … waiting … and silent.
Give Thanks! Emotions are a sign of life! They are also signals to pay attention to the condition of your heart and our mind.
To fix anything, it first has to be noticed. Your thoughts are conscious, unconscious, intentional, and automatic. Reactions to emotions become habitual and unquestioned when not noticed. So, the first step is to ask yourself a few questions when you experience an emotional flush. Here’s a few questions to get you started:
Was it anger, shame, frustration or embarrassment that just rose up and made your face flush red?
Yesterday I received, along with a host of other people, a string of Tweets from someone we all know and love dearly. This sweet man was visiting a city that he was not completely familiar with. While there, he decided to take a walk and, as is his nature, became deeply engrossed in his thoughts and prayers.
The time flew and when he realized the sun was setting, he was mortified to find that he had completely lost track of where he was and was now in unfamiliar territory.
Read more...(1344 words, 8 images, estimated 5:23 mins reading time)
There are moments when we are in the heat of a discussion and tempers flare, that the art of listening slides to the rear of our minds. Emotions boil up, over and out, carrying acid thoughts and accusations.
When listening ends, we take to heart only what we EXPECT to hear, not what is actually being said, and in an effort to counteract those expectations, the temptation to attack verbally before we are wounded further overtakes us. Read more...(658 words, estimated 2:38 mins reading time)
“Would you like a Carmel Highrise?” Carol asks as she moves towards the counter the moment we walk through the door of our favorite coffee shop. Who ever asks first is saying, “I love you and want to buy you coffee this morning.” Carol is always thoughtful and extremely patient. The energy she brings with her is calming and tender – and my energy (I’ve been told) is encouraging and inspiring. Together, we balance each other out and strengthen one another. Read more...(712 words, estimated 2:51 mins reading time)
When I was a little girl, I was standing with an adult, looking at the neighbor’s beautiful flower garden that ran alongside their red brick wall. Suddenly, one of the flowers lifted into the air and fluttered over to another flower.
Startled, I asked the adult I was with if that was a flower. “No,” he said, “That’s a butterfly.” Up to that point, I had not noticed them. Fascinated, I asked him why they call it a BUTTERfly – imagining in my mind that it must have evolved out of a stick of butter. Read more...(456 words, 1 image, estimated 1:49 mins reading time)