Years ago, when I was employed as a church secretary, and before I became co-pastor, I had the brilliant idea of adding a special feature to our church directory. Mind you, I had ulterior motives because I needed to solve a recurring problem. Hardly a day went by that someone didn’t call our offices and ask if I knew of a Christian service provider for one thing or another. Everything from babysitters to car mechanics, to doctors and tutors, was needed. Surely there was someone in the church that knew how to fulfill their needs!
Are you being challenged in your relationships? Whether that relationship is with your spouse, your friend or a congregational member, making assumptions about what they “really” mean – can be deadly.
The death of many a relationship has been caused solely by blind assumptions regarding motives and intentions. As a leader in a church, or other position of leadership such as a parent, there is a tendency to assume that you are the answer, or have the answer.
Whether you believe that or not isn’t the problem with this assumption– it’s believing that you must be the answer … or you must have the answer. After all, you’re the leader, right?
In asking them to describe to me what areas they had the greatest problem with, none showed any hesitation as they listed the familiar complaints of
- abuse … and the list goes on.