Are you or someone you know, facing a challenging church situation, a difficult work environment, or a toxic relationship?

Before leaving, consider examining this decision without the emotional energy that bypasses wisdom.

Regardless of where you choose to go or what you decide to do, if you want to determine the right path for yourself, it’s essential to ask some important questions:

Is my current situation and what I’m doing contributing to the Kingdom of God?
Am I thriving and growing where I am?
Do I feel safe and loved?
Am I recognized, celebrated, and appreciated, or am I merely tolerated, ignored, and taken for granted?
Am I surrounded by life or death? Joy or oppression?
Jesus said that the thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy. He came to give us abundant life. Am I experiencing that abundance, or do I feel robbed of my dreams and identity?
Is my calling being nurtured and supported? I realize that one day I will stand before God and be accountable for what I was meant to do, not for what I chose instead.

Additional questions to consider:

Why do I stay?
What fears do I have about deciding on this situation?
If I choose to stay, am I ready to do whatever it takes to thrive and grow here?
If I decide to leave, am I prepared to pursue my dreams and what God has placed in my heart?

It’s easy to feel like you must choose sides, but any decision shouldn’t be viewed as a win-or-lose situation—unless considered in eternal terms. Churches should not compete with each other; instead, we should support and pray for one another despite our flaws and struggles.

Everything we do should come from a place of unconditional love, including what we give to others and what we receive from our leaders and community.

This is a decision for healthy growth and should be treated as such. If there is a fear of betraying someone, where does God fit into that person’s influence? What role does God play in your future decisions?

Where to go from here?

This choice should also be made with prayer and thoughtful consideration. Don’t choose a new church (or job or relationship) simply because it feels comfortable, familiar, out of obligation, or because you know people there.

This decision should reflect wholesome values. Consider what will awaken your gifts, anointing, and life. What will inspire growth, boost self-esteem, enhance your spiritual journey, and fulfill your destiny?

Define what you want in a relationship, workplace, church, or spiritual home. If you could envision the perfect place for yourself, what would it look like? Feel like? Think about your dreams, goals, visions, personal worth, and growth.

Create a vision and then ask God for guidance. From the abundance of our hearts, our mouths speak, and God fulfills the desires within us. While this is a paraphrase, I’ve found it true in revealing God’s possibilities in our lives.

If circumstances have left you uncertain about your purpose or what brings you joy, here are 25 questions that can help you refocus.

Helpful Questions to Guide You

Questions about Your Current Situation

What specific challenges am I facing in my current situation?
How do I feel about my involvement in this community?
What are the core values that matter most to me?
Do I feel spiritually fulfilled where I am?
How do the people around me influence my spiritual growth?
What are the positive aspects of my current environment?
What are the negative aspects that I need to address?
Am I genuinely happy with my current circumstances?

Questions about Personal Growth

How am I growing personally and spiritually in this environment?
Are there opportunities for me to serve and contribute?
What skills or gifts do I feel are underutilized here?
Do I have mentors or role models that support my growth?
How does this situation impact my self-esteem and confidence?

Questions about Relationships

Do I feel a sense of belonging in this community?
Are my relationships here uplifting and supportive?
How do conflicts or challenges within these relationships affect me?
Am I able to express my thoughts and feelings openly?
Do I feel respected and valued by those around me?

Questions about Future Direction

What are my dreams and aspirations for the future?
How can I align my current situation with my long-term goals?
What steps can I take to create a more fulfilling environment?
If I were to leave, what would I hope to find in a new place?
What fears do I have about making a change?

Questions about Faith and Purpose

How does my faith inform my decisions in this situation?
What is God calling me to do in this next phase of my life?