Betrayal stings. Hardship wears you down.

Ministry life can be a grinder—years of pouring out, only to face disappointment from the very people you’ve served.

I’ve lived it as a pastor’s wife, now retired, and divorced. I’ve learned some raw truths along the way. One stands out: Healing is a necessity, not a luxury, and you don’t have to be perfect to do it.

The pressure is real. We’re expected to be the rock—unshaken, always faithful, the living example of Christ. When betrayal hits (and it will), we think we should forgive instantly, smile through the pain, and keep going. When life throws financial stress, family struggles, or loneliness, we tell ourselves to suck it up because that’s the gig. I did that for years—buried the hurt, ignored the exhaustion, convinced myself that admitting I was breaking would somehow let God or my husband down.

But here’s the fact: We’re human. Jesus wept, rested, and felt the weight of His own journey. If He didn’t fake it, why should we? Healing isn’t weakness—it’s survival. I hit a wall after a close friend turned on us. I was angry, gutted, and ashamed of not bouncing back fast. Then I realized: God wasn’t demanding instant recovery. He was offering to carry me through it, messy as it was.

You don’t have to perform. You can hurt. You can take time. Some days you’ll feel solid; others, you’ll barely get by. That’s not failure—that’s the process. People might not get it, and that stinks. But God does. He made you with limits, and He’s not surprised when you hit them.

The truth is, being real about your healing might just help someone else breathe easier too. You’re not here to be Christ—you’re here to point to Him. So let yourself heal, however long it takes. You’ve got permission to be human on this road. We all do.