Jul 312013
 

Emotional dramaAre you being challenged in your relationships? Whether that relationship is with your spouse, your friend or a congregational member, making assumptions about what they “really” mean – can be deadly.

The death of many a relationship has been caused solely by blind assumptions regarding motives and intentions. As a leader in a church, or other position of leadership such as a parent, there is a tendency to assume that you are  the answer, or have the answer. 

Whether you believe that or not isn’t the problem with this assumption– it’s believing that you must be the answer … or you must have the answer. After all, you’re the leader, right?

CompassThe wisest leaders on the planet are the ones that can LEAD. They are the ones who are masters at asking the right questions so that those who follow are lead to better answers … and choices.

A recent blog that I wrote addresses this very issue in regards to knowing your enemy. 

Have you ever perceived your spouse as your enemy? How about a child? A congregational member most certainly could qualify, right? Is this true? How can you know this to be true – and if it is, what do you need to do about it? What end results would you like to see?

Those questions are clarifying questions. Valuable and indispensable, they help us to navigate through the land mines of communication assumptions and deadly relationship mistakes.

By referring to them as ‘deadly’ is to recognize the potential of destroying a person’s trust, self esteem, hope or faith. That process has already begun in your own life and mind – otherwise, it would not be so easy to slip into those assumptions!

To breath life back into a situation or relationship, you must first identify what it is that has died.

Start by asking clarifying questions.

 

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